INsight/ Languages We Use

Photo by Dmitry Vechorko on Unsplash

Manila, 2 September 2020 — Do you know what your default language is?

No, I don’t mean your mother tongue. What we’re talking about is the language that shows how you view the world and cope with life’s challenges.

To start off, let’s walk down memory lane for a moment.

Easy and Difficult Conversations

Do you remember a situation where the conversation you had with someone went really well? You sensed that you were on the same wavelength, and it made you feel at ease, excited, and eager to keep the discussion going longer.

You would love to have more of such conversations, right? We all look forward to encountering such luck again. 

I say luck, because it doesn’t always work out like that, or does it?

Now think back again, and this time visualize a conversation that didn’t go so well. A situation where you felt a distinct discomfort, friction, and a growing deficit of trust, because of the way the other person spoke and acted.

Perhaps he or she was too conservative for you, or too confrontational, or self-centered, or simply too unrealistic. Having to meet that person again would make you think of it as a difficult conversation.

Going forward, we all want to experience more of the first, and less of the second kind of conversation. Are you with me on this? 

Fortunately, in the practice of growing your leadership skills, that is entirely possible. It just takes work to get there, together with an openness to new experiences, and a commitment to practice.

Double-Clicking on Yourself

Like almost everything in leadership development, the work starts with double-clicking on your self-awareness. That’s where the question of your default language comes in. We all have one, including you and me.

Most people go through life and career without being aware of which one it is. It’s a part of their blindspots as it were. It was like that for me.

Discovering your default language can be a powerful Aha! moment. And an essential one if you want to make the most of your talents, and bring others along with you on a path of creating positive changes. That’s what leadership is all about.

But, there is more to it than that just your default language.

Your blindspots also include your unconscious resistance and allergies triggered by the default languages of people you meet along the way. Especially in the discussions with bosses, teammates, colleagues and clients you label as difficult.

A failure to handle these difficult conversations better will, at best, slow you down. At worst, it will damage your performance and derail your career.

I’m sure you have seen or read about examples of other people, right?

Discovering Languages Together

Improving self-awareness, uncovering blindspots, and expanding beyond your default language is what we work on this month in the #Grow3Leaders community. We explore how each of us views the world.

That's why our theme this month is Worldviews: leaders spot different worldviews in discussions.

Let’s get back to the question if you know what your default language is.

To help you discover that and expand your language repertoire from where you are, we use the Work In All Colors method and training, together with a personal questionnaire and private coaching session to discuss your results.

Each of the seven colors in the method represents a language that could be your default language. Or one that triggers a resistance in you that makes teamwork difficult and holds back your progress.

Whatever the case, you will want to grow beyond that to become a better leader who can Work In All Colors to influence positive change in your workplace. 

I’m glad I did, and I would like you to have that experience too.